Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I did it! (Fingers crossed)

I'm so happy I am doing handstands.  Two weeks ago today I ran out of cigarettes and I haven't had one since.  539,345,789th time is a charm.  I am happy because I didn't think yoga and smoking went together.  Though I thought the Smokin' Yogi kind of had a ring to it.  Samskara is the sanskrit word for the tendencies we have and include the positive and negative.  When we do something over and over again, it is like driving on a dirt road over and over again, reinforcing and deepening the ruts in the road.  Samskaras are like that.  After smoking for so long, the habit had become entrenched.  Always there was a part of me that really wanted to quit and was even disgusted by the habit.  But another part always insisted that I light up one more time which led to one time more and on and on and on.  It is easy to give up quitting and saying that I cannot do this.  I am glad that I hung on to the desire to quit until that desire became stronger than the urge to smoke.  I figure it is my purpose in this lifetime to deal with as many samskaras as possible, at least the samskaras of the negative variety.  I figure this is my purpose because I believe that I get more than one kick at the can.  After I die, I will be back and any samskaras that I haven't dealt with will be back as well.  And that is my story and I am sticking to it.